There is no whining in joy :)

After experiencing one adoption journey, my one regret was being so miserable at times. Sure, it's normal to miss my children and hope that they are safe and at home with us, but my attitude wasn't always the best. I wasn't fun to be around when I felt things were moving too slowly or my poorly managed expectations manifested in different ways. And in the year we knew about our children and worked actively on bringing them home, so much life happened. And I didn't always approach those events with the joy they deserved.

Once we learned about Afua, I knew that if she was to be ours and if we were to adopt her, I would approach this journey so differently. I would find joy in the journey even during the bumps and the tough parts. It was a challenge I set for myself and I hope this "exercise" would apply to other areas of my life.

All things considered, I have found so much joy as we have made our way to adopting Afua. While we are proactive about affording the adoption, I also know creating a stressful environment at home due to finances isn't helping anyone (btw, we are less than $800 away from being paid on our agency fees if anyone would feel led to help us to get there). I had a wonderful travel to Ghana with Emmi and even though we couldn't bring Afua home, so many wonderful things happened on that trip.

But can I just whine for a teeny moment? Tonight is one of those moments where I am starting to forget the little noises Afua makes and how she feels when I hold her. And the way she squints her eyes when she focuses on a persons face in order to see them. I was sure that all these things about her would be forever in my memory, but memories fade. And it hurts to forget. I pulled up videos of our trip and some memories resurfaced. I miss her dearly. Our next trip can't come soon enough.

Ok, I am done whining for now. I know so many wonderful things are happening every day and I have 4 children to experience them with.