Thursday, April 25, 2013
Adoption Grants Part 2
This post is a continuation of the adoption grant series, you can read part 1 here
For this post, I wanted to compile a list of reputable grant organizations that I either 1. received a grant from 2. know someone personally who received a grant or 3. could otherwise be verified as reputable. I hope you will comment if you know other grant organizations that are reputable.
So here is my list so far:
1. Show Hope
Criteria: Married, Christian couples who are home study ready.
Deadlines: quarterly deadlines with an online portion and supported documents sent separately
2. Gift of Adoption
Criteria: home study ready families, no religious criteria, agency or independent adoption
Deadline: monthly reviews
3. Affording Adoption:
Criteria: they are currently fundraising for future grants, but keep checking their website
4.Salvation International
Criteria: home study ready families
Deadline: quarterly grant deadlines, see website
5. A Child Waits
Criteria: home study ready families, prefer toward the end of adoption to give travel fund grants
Deadlines: ongoing
6. Help Us Adopt
Criteria: home study ready families, prefers families with no children currently
Deadline: twice yearly (April and October)
7. Lifesong for Orphans
Criteria: homestudy, pastoral reference letter. Offers matching grants and interest free loans
Deadline: n/a
8. One Less Ministries
Criteria, home study, statement of faith, pastoral questionnaire
Deadline: n/a
9. Jeremiah 29:11 Project
-watch the website for application periods, at this time they are reviewing and fundraising current applicants
10. Beautiful Feet Global Outreach
Criteria: home study ready families, statement of faith required
Deadline: ongoing
11. Lydia Fund
Criteria: Married, Christian couples with home study.
Deadline: will review 90 days after application received
12. CARE
Criteria: home study ready families, faith based grant
Deadline: rolling based on funds
13. His Kids Too
Criteria: Christian, homestudy ready couples
Deadline: n/a
14. Sea of Faces
I read that they are in fundraising phase right now, but keep checking the website for updates. Usually a quarterly grant program.
15. Families Outreach
Criteria: homestudy ready families, requires a pastoral letter
Deadline: will review in 4-6 weeks
16. JSC Foundation
Criteria: homestudy ready families, faith based grant
Deadline: 5 deadlines throughout the year
17. Heart of the Bride
Criteria: Christian, married couples with homestudy and agency
Deadline: ongoing
18. Love Has Come
Criteria: Christian family, home study complete, using a licensed 501(c)3 agency. Priority given, but not limited to, Montana families.
Deadline: Quarterly
Please stay tuned for part 3 in the Adoption Grants series. It's my favorite grant program of all time and a HUGE part of Afua's adoption story.And part 4 will include other ways to raise funds for your adoption, including tax-deductible adoption accounts, matching grants and fundraisers.
Monday, April 15, 2013
Adoption Grants Part 1
Adoption grants are one way to help with adoption costs. During our two adoptions, we have applied and qualified for adoption grants of various sizes. I have been so grateful that people have shared their knowledge of grants with us, and I thought I would "pay it forward". I also spoke with a board member of a grant giving organization who chose us for a grant and it gave me some insight on what the organizations may be looking for.
Some tips when filling out the grant applications:
1. Be yourself
Really, the organizations, especially the smaller ones want to get to know you. Even though the application may be a "fill the blanks" type, there will always be a way to personalize it. Include your family picture, or if there are open ended questions, tell them your adoption story. Even if you have just finished your home study, you have a story. If they choose you for a grant, they will likely want to tell your story to their supporters. Just be yourself and let them see who your family is.
2. Include everything they ask for
A major reason for turning down an application right away, is due to missing documents. There is a reason why they ask for specific things and either have everything ready, or wait until you do. When an organization receives more applications than they can give grants to, this becomes the easiest way to thin down the pile. If there is a major reason why you don't have a document to share with them, you could always explain (may or may not work) but at least acknowledge this with them. Also fill in every box in the application, double check this before you send it.
3. Focus on grants for your circumstances
Many grants have religious preferences. Don't apply unless you fit their criteria. Some grants have a domestic adoption focus, special needs adoption focus, older child focus, sibling group focus, Asia focus etc. Some grant organizations post statistics on who received their grant, read those and see if you might fall into that category. Start your process by focusing on the ones that fit your circumstances the best, and then by all means apply for the others.
4. Make a goal for yourself
It's easy to look at the number of applications and get overwhelmed. I tend to do my applications in small batches. Like 2-3 at a time. However long you want to give yourself to get them done, make a goal and stick with it. Keep copies of all documents, some you may need multiple times. Ask for general reference letters from 3-4 people. Speak with your pastor, he or she will need to get involved with some grants.
5. Don't focus on the "biggies" only
There are a handful of well known grant organizations that provide big grants for adoptive families. They receive many applications and are only able to help a select a limited number of families. It's a huge blessing to be one of the select few. But there are many smaller non-profits that also offer grants and the odds of being selected are in your favor. It may take a bit more work to find them, but so worth it if you are a recipient.
6. Follow up
This is huge!!!!!! I can't emphasize this enough. If a grant says they will review applications in a certain time frame and you don't hear from them, don't assume you have not been selected. One grant we applied for, I knew that their timeline for reviews had passed and I emailed them for follow up. It lead to a string of emails and ultimately grant approval. Had I assumed this was a denial, I would have missed out on a grant. Many organizations are small and things happen. One particular grant started out smaller, but they received unexpected donations and it ended up doubling in value. So please, don't only focus on the "biggies", the small ones are just as important.
7. Gratitude
When you receive a grant, make sure you keep them updated on your progress. Some grants depend on your story to be able to raise funds for future grants. Let them know when your child is home, send them pictures and thank yous. This will help future families and keep the grants going. And once you are in a financial position to do so, pay it forward by sending a donation to them. Another adoptive family will be blessed by you paying it forward.
Please post any tips you may have in the comments, I am sure others will have wisdom to share.
Part 2 will talk about actual grant organizations....
Some tips when filling out the grant applications:
1. Be yourself
Really, the organizations, especially the smaller ones want to get to know you. Even though the application may be a "fill the blanks" type, there will always be a way to personalize it. Include your family picture, or if there are open ended questions, tell them your adoption story. Even if you have just finished your home study, you have a story. If they choose you for a grant, they will likely want to tell your story to their supporters. Just be yourself and let them see who your family is.
2. Include everything they ask for
A major reason for turning down an application right away, is due to missing documents. There is a reason why they ask for specific things and either have everything ready, or wait until you do. When an organization receives more applications than they can give grants to, this becomes the easiest way to thin down the pile. If there is a major reason why you don't have a document to share with them, you could always explain (may or may not work) but at least acknowledge this with them. Also fill in every box in the application, double check this before you send it.
3. Focus on grants for your circumstances
Many grants have religious preferences. Don't apply unless you fit their criteria. Some grants have a domestic adoption focus, special needs adoption focus, older child focus, sibling group focus, Asia focus etc. Some grant organizations post statistics on who received their grant, read those and see if you might fall into that category. Start your process by focusing on the ones that fit your circumstances the best, and then by all means apply for the others.
4. Make a goal for yourself
It's easy to look at the number of applications and get overwhelmed. I tend to do my applications in small batches. Like 2-3 at a time. However long you want to give yourself to get them done, make a goal and stick with it. Keep copies of all documents, some you may need multiple times. Ask for general reference letters from 3-4 people. Speak with your pastor, he or she will need to get involved with some grants.
5. Don't focus on the "biggies" only
There are a handful of well known grant organizations that provide big grants for adoptive families. They receive many applications and are only able to help a select a limited number of families. It's a huge blessing to be one of the select few. But there are many smaller non-profits that also offer grants and the odds of being selected are in your favor. It may take a bit more work to find them, but so worth it if you are a recipient.
6. Follow up
This is huge!!!!!! I can't emphasize this enough. If a grant says they will review applications in a certain time frame and you don't hear from them, don't assume you have not been selected. One grant we applied for, I knew that their timeline for reviews had passed and I emailed them for follow up. It lead to a string of emails and ultimately grant approval. Had I assumed this was a denial, I would have missed out on a grant. Many organizations are small and things happen. One particular grant started out smaller, but they received unexpected donations and it ended up doubling in value. So please, don't only focus on the "biggies", the small ones are just as important.
7. Gratitude
When you receive a grant, make sure you keep them updated on your progress. Some grants depend on your story to be able to raise funds for future grants. Let them know when your child is home, send them pictures and thank yous. This will help future families and keep the grants going. And once you are in a financial position to do so, pay it forward by sending a donation to them. Another adoptive family will be blessed by you paying it forward.
Please post any tips you may have in the comments, I am sure others will have wisdom to share.
Part 2 will talk about actual grant organizations....
Friday, April 12, 2013
Pictures
Yesterday morning I woke up to see pictures of my little girl. It does good to my heart to see that she is smiling and a little determined too. It will serve her well later on. Of course it brought more intense feeling of missing her, remembering how it feels to hold her and all the little sounds she makes. But I would rather miss her this intensely than not know how she is doing.
I especially love the last picture. I am not sure if Auntie Comfort will let me leave Ghana with Afua :) They have a beautiful bond and Comfort is such a blessing to us while we can't be with our daughter.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
The middle
Between the leap of faith to adopt and having your child(ren) home, is the middle. It can be incredibly hard place to be. As a mother, my heart was not created to be split in two. My arms ache when my children are not near. I worry when one is away, even when I know they are safe and loved. But especially when one is in an orphanage, the worry, heartbreak and arm ache multiplies. Since we don't receive reports or updates, we operate on faith alone. We trust that this story will have a happy ending. It's already written, we just need to walk in it.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
When news become good news
Thursday, I received an email from the USCIS and my heart raced as I thought they sent us our i600 (orphan investigation) approval. It was only a week ago that they received all needed documents, so this would have been a super fast approval, the average is 30-60 days. Instead they asked for more documentation and corrected documentation. Of course, it is good that they are careful with each investigation and even smallest discrepancies should be corrected. Also, it gave me hope that once we comply with their requests, they will be ready to conclude and approve our i600. So not THE news I was hoping for, but a promising start.
As I re-read the email again, something popped out that I hadn't seen before. It mentions a city that is in one of our reports. I went back to our paperwork, found the part that mentions the city and in the past I assumed it was a suburb of the capital, Accra. As I googled this city, I noticed it was quite far from the capital and the likely place Afua was born in. Wow, more details about her past came out and I would have never been able to figure this out on my own.
That's when the email went from ok news to good news. We will likely never know Afua's parents or all the circumstances of her early life. So these little nuggets of information are like gold to me. Good news.
When Eric was in Ghana, he was trying to see if we could somehow figure out Afua's hometown. She has marks on the side of the face, which we thought were tribal marks. This would have been a clue to her birth place. Turns out they were from a tribal healer, who makes small cuts into a body part and then places ashes (or something similar) into the cuts in attempt to cure a disease. Her family may have taken her to a healer in order to cure her CP or another disease during the first year of her life. So what we thought was a clue to her past, ended up being something else.
So we rejoice in the small clues we get to Afua's past, we rejoice that her case is being reviewed with understanding and care. Once we have the additional information, we should be very close to a conclusion of the investigation. And another step closer to bringing her home.
As I re-read the email again, something popped out that I hadn't seen before. It mentions a city that is in one of our reports. I went back to our paperwork, found the part that mentions the city and in the past I assumed it was a suburb of the capital, Accra. As I googled this city, I noticed it was quite far from the capital and the likely place Afua was born in. Wow, more details about her past came out and I would have never been able to figure this out on my own.
That's when the email went from ok news to good news. We will likely never know Afua's parents or all the circumstances of her early life. So these little nuggets of information are like gold to me. Good news.
When Eric was in Ghana, he was trying to see if we could somehow figure out Afua's hometown. She has marks on the side of the face, which we thought were tribal marks. This would have been a clue to her birth place. Turns out they were from a tribal healer, who makes small cuts into a body part and then places ashes (or something similar) into the cuts in attempt to cure a disease. Her family may have taken her to a healer in order to cure her CP or another disease during the first year of her life. So what we thought was a clue to her past, ended up being something else.
So we rejoice in the small clues we get to Afua's past, we rejoice that her case is being reviewed with understanding and care. Once we have the additional information, we should be very close to a conclusion of the investigation. And another step closer to bringing her home.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Life as a multicultural family
Last week was Kofi's open house at school. Some parents knew that he was adopted, but some were genuinely surprised that our son had white parents. It happens at the grocery store, where we may be a few feet apart looking for things, and then Joy will yell "Mommy" and people turn around because they don't see a woman with a matching skin color. It happened at the pool this summer when the lifeguard wasn't sure if my son had a parent in the water with him. I was standing right next to him. It happens at boys sports, where people are unsure how to ask the questions about race, culture or adoption. But the truth is, we are a multicultural family, we do not blend in easily. We know it, and we are more than ok with it. Our decision to adopt from West Africa wasn't made without considering how we would live as a multicultural family.
Our communities are pretty divided around here. We have predominantly white communities (well to do and poor) and we have predominantly black communities (well to do and poor). We don't completely blend in at either one, but we're for the most part embraced by both. We also purposefully seek other multicultural families so that our kids don't feel alone. My boys are especially proud of their twin status and like to make it known. I hope they are always as proud to be siblings as they are currently. I should also add that our family embraced two different cultures before we adopted but it was not as obvious because my skin matches my husband's.
So what is it like to be a multicultural (especially multiracial) family? I think sometimes people expect us to be hesitant to talk about race or I see a nervousness when we talk about it so openly. My daughter knows her skin is a beautiful shade of brown. She knows we don't match and we don't pretend that families have to match to love each other. What's there to hide? My son knows he has a white Momma and we know our family came together in a unique way. We celebrate it, we love and we live it. I am fully aware that their take on having me as their Mom may change as we encounter the teens years and we will continue to figure it out together.
One of our first outings after Kofi and Joy arrived was to a chick fil a for lunch. It was 3 weeks into our adventure as a family of 6 and we were still pretty overwhelmed. A lady stopped me and asked if my children were from Ghana. Turns out her mom was visiting from Ghana and saw Kofis Ghanian soccer jersey. Joy spotted the women and immediately stood next to the grandma. Before long Joy rested her head on her shoulder ( a big no no for attachment purposes, but my heart longed for her to feel comfortable for the first time in 3 weeks). This lady was a grandmotherly type, she began to speak Twi to my children and that is when I realized that I could never be ALL my daughter needs. She longs to be with people of her race and while she loves me, creating those relationships for her is so important. In Sunday school, she loves other girls with brown skin. And we are fortunate in being able to provide this for her. But at times, we need to be more aware of this need and step out of our routines. And it's not just about the skin color. They need the cultural connection as much as they need a racial connection.
This past year has opened our eyes to our entire community and we are better for it. We step into situations where Eric and I are the minority to give our children a chance to blend in. I have danced the African dances, I have sat in the barbershops so that Kofi will get the style he wants, I choose a restaurant based on their demographic rather than the menu. And I am so thankful I was shaken out of my white bubble. I have always considered our family to be inclusive and our circle of friends reflect it. But I didn't go out of my way to seek out a community where I was a minority.
Last summer, we went to learn about West African drumming and dancing. It was taught by musicians from Guinea and most people who were interested had a connection to Africa. Oh, how they loved my children, all four of them. And the questions were so different (for the first time) than what we had encountered before. Some could guess pretty accurately where Joy was from. Maybe she has a Ghanaian look, I don't know. Kofi was harder to guess, but once they heard his name, they figured it out. We were welcomed as his parents and while my drumming was awkward and off beat, we had a wonderful time. I would never have these opportunities to meet such beautiful people, if it wasn't for being Kofi and Joy's Momma. I just hope it's enough for them, that we are truly embracing and welcoming people around us who help them navigate their racial and cultural identity.
Adoption starts with loss, and my children have lost a lot in the process. While I can't replace any of their losses completely, I hope we can find a different way to build up their identities as it relates to their West African culture and their race.
Our communities are pretty divided around here. We have predominantly white communities (well to do and poor) and we have predominantly black communities (well to do and poor). We don't completely blend in at either one, but we're for the most part embraced by both. We also purposefully seek other multicultural families so that our kids don't feel alone. My boys are especially proud of their twin status and like to make it known. I hope they are always as proud to be siblings as they are currently. I should also add that our family embraced two different cultures before we adopted but it was not as obvious because my skin matches my husband's.
So what is it like to be a multicultural (especially multiracial) family? I think sometimes people expect us to be hesitant to talk about race or I see a nervousness when we talk about it so openly. My daughter knows her skin is a beautiful shade of brown. She knows we don't match and we don't pretend that families have to match to love each other. What's there to hide? My son knows he has a white Momma and we know our family came together in a unique way. We celebrate it, we love and we live it. I am fully aware that their take on having me as their Mom may change as we encounter the teens years and we will continue to figure it out together.
One of our first outings after Kofi and Joy arrived was to a chick fil a for lunch. It was 3 weeks into our adventure as a family of 6 and we were still pretty overwhelmed. A lady stopped me and asked if my children were from Ghana. Turns out her mom was visiting from Ghana and saw Kofis Ghanian soccer jersey. Joy spotted the women and immediately stood next to the grandma. Before long Joy rested her head on her shoulder ( a big no no for attachment purposes, but my heart longed for her to feel comfortable for the first time in 3 weeks). This lady was a grandmotherly type, she began to speak Twi to my children and that is when I realized that I could never be ALL my daughter needs. She longs to be with people of her race and while she loves me, creating those relationships for her is so important. In Sunday school, she loves other girls with brown skin. And we are fortunate in being able to provide this for her. But at times, we need to be more aware of this need and step out of our routines. And it's not just about the skin color. They need the cultural connection as much as they need a racial connection.
This past year has opened our eyes to our entire community and we are better for it. We step into situations where Eric and I are the minority to give our children a chance to blend in. I have danced the African dances, I have sat in the barbershops so that Kofi will get the style he wants, I choose a restaurant based on their demographic rather than the menu. And I am so thankful I was shaken out of my white bubble. I have always considered our family to be inclusive and our circle of friends reflect it. But I didn't go out of my way to seek out a community where I was a minority.
Jake's got some fancy moves
Adoption starts with loss, and my children have lost a lot in the process. While I can't replace any of their losses completely, I hope we can find a different way to build up their identities as it relates to their West African culture and their race.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Peeling the layers of an onion..
I use this space to describe our journey to Afua. But I am also an incredibly blessed Momma of 4 other children, 2 joined our family the old fashioned way and 2 by adoption. There is much hesitation surrounding older child adoption and what that really looks like on a regular basis.I absolutely love older child adoption and witnessing the healing journey from an older child's perspective.
Kofi is 7 1/2 and his first year in our family has been great overall. He has embraced his new life here (which is key to attaching) and he understands why he was adopted. He lived his life in Ghana, he remembers the hard times and I am fortunate that he talks about his experiences freely. At the same time he loves his country and culture, which he is now separated from. It is huge price to pay for him and there are days that the grief is so evident. We have worked through so much with Kofi this year, but of course more work needs to be done.
One of the things we are in the middle of is educational testing. Years of malnourishment, lack of education and trauma make it a challenge for Kofi to retain information. We don't know the exact root cause and so we are on a mission to find out. We have consulted with an adoption specialist who gave us many referrals in the coming months. Our school absolutely loves him, they have went above and beyond in providing educational supports for him.
None of the books prepared me for this last year. I received lots of tools from attachment books, but the day to day parenting is hard to learn from a manual. There are days that break my heart as I think of the life he used to live. And there are days that he longs for the comfort of that life no matter how hard it was. It was familiar and all he knew. Our life is still strange and different. But we do figure it out, together. We often say that just as he has never lived in America before, I have never been a Mommy to a boy from Ghana. We have enough common ground and love to figure it out together.
Picture from one week home.
Kofi is 7 1/2 and his first year in our family has been great overall. He has embraced his new life here (which is key to attaching) and he understands why he was adopted. He lived his life in Ghana, he remembers the hard times and I am fortunate that he talks about his experiences freely. At the same time he loves his country and culture, which he is now separated from. It is huge price to pay for him and there are days that the grief is so evident. We have worked through so much with Kofi this year, but of course more work needs to be done.
His biggest wish was to have a bicycle in America. Mission accomplished.
One of the things we are in the middle of is educational testing. Years of malnourishment, lack of education and trauma make it a challenge for Kofi to retain information. We don't know the exact root cause and so we are on a mission to find out. We have consulted with an adoption specialist who gave us many referrals in the coming months. Our school absolutely loves him, they have went above and beyond in providing educational supports for him.
None of the books prepared me for this last year. I received lots of tools from attachment books, but the day to day parenting is hard to learn from a manual. There are days that break my heart as I think of the life he used to live. And there are days that he longs for the comfort of that life no matter how hard it was. It was familiar and all he knew. Our life is still strange and different. But we do figure it out, together. We often say that just as he has never lived in America before, I have never been a Mommy to a boy from Ghana. We have enough common ground and love to figure it out together.
my twins
The next few months we will learn new things about Kofi. He will be given diagnoses (some we know, some will be surprised to us, I'm sure), we will learn more about them. But in this Momma's eyes, he will always have just one label: SON.
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