Tuesday, August 20, 2013

You have your hands full...and other things I don't want to hear

We had 3 blissful days cocooning at home. Afua was done with appointments, over stimulating environments and being poked at by various people. And so was I. We needed a few days off knowing that Friday was our MRI that she needed to be sedated for.

During those quiet days at home, I saw huge progress in our attachment, in her physical abilities and in the way she communicated with us. I got to know Afua better as we moved through the day together. She was all over her siblings, engaged in their playing and scooting around to keep up with them. Precious!

Friday, we got up early, before anyone else was up. We went through admissions and into radiology. As we spoke with various people (admissions, nurses, doctor, child life specialist) the question come out inevitably. Because of our skin colors not matching, people know we are related due to adoption or foster care. I tell our story briefly and it leads to more questions. How many other children do you have at home? Do you have any of you "own" children? Really, you have 5 children? Did you know she had a disability when you adopted her? Wow, how do you do it? And then....you MUST have your hands full. I can barely keep up with my (1,2,3) children. When this starts, I smile and take a deep breath....

Yes, our life is busy, but I think life is always busy. We fill our life with busy things no matter how many children we have. I was busy with 2 children, it was just a different kind of busy. Having 5 children is not crazy or impossible. It's sometimes loud, sometimes stretching all of us, but most of the time it's just a lot of love. And is it really a bad thing to have "full hands"?

Dear medical professionals, random deli counter acquaintances, soccer moms and anyone else that we encounter as we venture out: adoption is a fairly intentional way to add to our family. There is no "oops" adoption, it is pretty much all consuming work emotionally, physically, financially to have a child join our family. So please see it as a blessing as we do :)

Love, Me

1 comment:

  1. I loved that post! I totally agree, it drives me crazy when people say "Oh you have your hands full" Like I'd want them empty? I also loved your comment "There is no 'oops' adoption." I'm stealing it for future use ;)