Honoring First Mothers Everywhere

Mother's Day used to be MY day. I would gladly accept a little extra sleep, kids gifts from school and my husband's carefully selected gift. There were years that I wished we had more children, or grieved a little life we never met, but I was a Mom and that's what mattered.

And then our family changed. Two precious kids from the other side of the ocean became a cherished son and daughter. And Mother's Day took a whole new meaning...

There was another mother that had carried them, loved them, protected them and wanted them. And as I began to parent my children, I was in a way sharing this journey with her. It was no longer MY day, it was now OUR day.

Last year, I didn't feel I could take any credit for their mothering, as it had only been 2 1/2 months. We kept our Mother's Day very low key and enjoyed a lovely day together. This year, with school and language development, they know what this weekend is about. I am pretty sure there are some cute gifts waiting for me, and we will take a picture of them and send it to Ghana for our extended family there to see. I still feel like I can't take all the credit for this day, because there is another woman who did the most sacrificial act out of love for them. And I want to be sure that she is acknowledged somehow too.

One way that I honor first mother's everywhere is to be intentional in my gift giving and choosing organizations that lift women out of poverty by providing sustainable income for them. Here are some organizations I love:

FashionAble
Beautiful scarves and a wonderful business model.

Light Gives Heat
Jewelry and many other accessories.

Delicate Fortress Creations
Many beautiful gift items from around the world

31 Bits
Jewelry that has been featured in many fashion magazines

CLARO
Candles benefiting various social justice causes.


Other ways you can help women in developing nations:

Because Every Mother Matters
Sponsor a woman to start a business and reverse the cycle of poverty in her family

And my personal favorite:

The Fern House

Helping women in crisis pregnancy situation by providing safety, health and training for a career.

Happy Mother's Day! Let's spend the day (and all the days) finding ways to support mothers around the world!

Adoption Update

Late March, the US Embassy asked us for more documentation to continue to investigate our daughter's case. All requests were reasonable and understandable. All requests seemed doable. Out of 3 documents, we have made great progress with 2 of them. But 1 seems to be harder and I don't seem to have all the answers why. Other than that the document is in a far region and will take for someone to drive there to obtain it. Ugh. I hate this part. I want to be in control so I would want to just fly over there and do it myself. But that is not rational, doable and all that grown up stuff :)

So now, 6 weeks after the request, we wait for the document that I thought was easy to get. I know some day this will be a distant memory, but right now, it's tough. I am ready to see that smile and those sparkly eyes. My heart's about to POP!!!!

When you say YES...

"When you say YES to adoption, you are saying YES to enter the suffering of the orphan, and that suffering includes WAITING FOR YOU TO GET TO THEM. I promise you, their suffering is worse than yours. We say YES to the tears, YES to the longing, YES to the maddening process, YES to the money, YES to hope, YES to the screaming frustration of it all, YES to going the distance through every unforeseen discouragement and delay. Do not imagine that something outside of "your perfect plan" means you heard God wrong. There is NO perfect adoption. EVERY adoption has snags. We Americans invented the "show me a sign" or "this is a sign" or "this must mean God is closing a door" or "God must not be in this because it is hard," but all that is garbage. You know what's hard? Being an orphan. They need us to be champions and heroes for them, fighting like hell to get them home. So we will. We may cry and rage and scream and wail in the process, but get them home we will."

--Jen Hatmaker

Right now our wait is hard. The closer we get to the end, the more resistance and slow down there is. I wish I could explain it all here, but it really is irrelevant as we wait here and she waits there. And then I saw the quote from Jen Hatmaker above. And my hard doesn't compare to my sweet daughter's hard. My wait is not like her wait. I wait in a comfortable home, I have unlimited hugs and kisses. I have food in abundance and medical care is easily accessible. And the same is my prayer for her. So we continue to fight for her and before long, we will bring her home. And she will know a love of a family, something that she has not had for the last 2 years.

Adoption Grants part 3

This is the 3rd post in adoption grant series. You can find part 1 here and part 2 in the 2 previous posts.

You may have seen the box to the right of my blog, with a generous amount of money displayed there. That is our grant that has been growing for Afua even before she was ours. It's absolutely amazing and awe inspiring to think that people were praying for her family to find her, donating to a grant to help with her adoptions costs and waiting to see who her family was. And now that they know us, they have continued to encourage us and support us along the way. This wonderful organization is called Reece's Rainbow

Reece's Rainbow is a wonderful adoption ministry that advocates for orphaned children around the world who have special needs. Over the years, they have helped 900+ children home by providing grants to lower the cost of that child's adoption. The grant stays with the child, not the family, and that makes Reece's Rainbow so unique.

Some special needs that the children have are minor, others are life threatening. Some children will need extensive medical treatments and therapies, others will not. All they need regardless of the special needs is love of a family.

I would encourage everyone to explore the possibility of adopting a child with special needs. They are overlooked and have very little hope in their current situation.

Among the children waiting for a family is:

Ebby

Rowen

Ty

Harry and Will (get it???)

“Orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names.  They are easier to ignore before you see their faces.  It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms.  But once you do, everything changes.” David Platt

Adoption Grants Part 2

This post is a continuation of the adoption grant series, you can read part 1 here

For this post, I wanted to compile a list of reputable grant organizations that I either 1. received a grant from 2. know someone personally who received a grant or 3. could otherwise be verified as reputable. I hope you will comment if you know other grant organizations that are reputable.

So here is my list so far:

1. Show Hope
Criteria: Married, Christian couples who are home study ready.
Deadlines: quarterly deadlines with an online portion and supported documents sent separately

2. Gift of Adoption
Criteria: home study ready families, no religious criteria, agency or independent adoption
Deadline: monthly reviews

3. Affording Adoption:
Criteria: they are currently fundraising for future grants, but keep checking their website


4.Salvation International
Criteria: home study ready families
Deadline: quarterly grant deadlines, see website

5. A Child Waits
Criteria: home study ready families, prefer toward the end of adoption to give travel fund grants
Deadlines: ongoing

6. Help Us Adopt
Criteria: home study ready families, prefers families with no children currently
Deadline: twice yearly (April and October)

7. Lifesong for Orphans
Criteria: homestudy, pastoral reference letter. Offers matching grants and interest free loans
Deadline: n/a

8. One Less Ministries
Criteria, home study, statement of faith, pastoral questionnaire
Deadline: n/a

9. Jeremiah 29:11 Project
-watch the website for application periods, at this time they are reviewing and fundraising current applicants

10. Beautiful Feet Global Outreach
Criteria: home study ready families, statement of faith required
Deadline: ongoing

11.  Lydia Fund
Criteria: Married, Christian couples with home study.
Deadline: will review 90 days after application received

12. CARE
Criteria: home study ready families, faith based grant
Deadline: rolling based on funds

13. His Kids Too
 Criteria: Christian, homestudy ready couples
Deadline: n/a

14. Sea of Faces
I read that they are in fundraising phase right now, but keep checking the website for updates. Usually a quarterly grant program.

15. Families Outreach
Criteria: homestudy ready families, requires a pastoral letter
Deadline: will review in 4-6 weeks

16. JSC Foundation
Criteria: homestudy ready families, faith based grant
Deadline: 5 deadlines throughout the year

17. Heart of the Bride
Criteria: Christian, married couples with homestudy and agency
Deadline: ongoing

18. Love Has Come
Criteria: Christian family, home study complete, using a licensed 501(c)3 agency. Priority given, but not limited to, Montana families.
Deadline: Quarterly




Please stay tuned for part 3 in the Adoption Grants series. It's my favorite grant program of all time and a HUGE part of Afua's adoption story.And part 4 will include other ways to raise funds for your adoption, including tax-deductible adoption accounts, matching grants and fundraisers.

Adoption Grants Part 1

Adoption grants are one way to help with adoption costs. During our two adoptions, we have applied and qualified for adoption grants of various sizes. I have been so grateful that people have shared their knowledge of grants with us, and I thought I would "pay it forward". I also spoke with a  board member of a grant giving organization who chose us for a grant and it gave me some insight on what the organizations may be looking for.

Some tips when filling out the grant applications:

1. Be yourself
Really, the organizations, especially the smaller ones want to get to know you. Even though the application may be a "fill the blanks" type, there will always be a way to personalize it. Include your family picture, or if there are open ended questions, tell them your adoption story. Even if you have just finished your home study, you have a story. If they choose you for a grant, they will likely want to tell your story to their supporters. Just be yourself and let them see who your family is.

2. Include everything they ask for
A major reason for turning down an application right away, is due to missing documents. There is a reason why they ask for specific things and either have everything ready, or wait until you do. When an organization receives more applications than they can give grants to, this becomes the easiest way to thin down the pile.  If there is a major reason why you don't have a document to share with them, you could always explain (may or may not work) but at least acknowledge this with them. Also fill in every box in the application, double check this before you send it.

3. Focus on grants for your circumstances
Many grants have religious preferences. Don't apply unless you fit their criteria. Some grants have a domestic adoption focus, special needs adoption focus, older child focus, sibling group focus, Asia focus etc.  Some grant organizations post statistics on who received their grant, read those and see if you might fall into that category. Start your process by focusing on the ones that fit your circumstances the best, and then by all means apply for the others.

4. Make a goal for yourself
It's easy to look at the number of applications and get overwhelmed. I tend to do my applications in small batches. Like 2-3 at a time. However long you want to give yourself to get them done, make a goal and stick with it. Keep copies of all documents, some you may need multiple times. Ask for general reference letters from 3-4 people. Speak with your pastor, he or she will need to get involved with some grants.

5.  Don't focus on the "biggies" only
There are a handful of well known grant organizations that provide big grants for adoptive families. They receive many applications and are only able to help a select a limited number of families. It's a huge blessing to be one of the select few. But there are many smaller non-profits that also offer grants and the odds of being selected are in your favor. It may take a bit more work to find them, but so worth it if you are a recipient.

6. Follow up
This is huge!!!!!! I can't emphasize this enough. If a grant says they will review applications in a certain time frame and you don't hear from them, don't assume you have not been selected. One grant we applied for, I knew that their timeline for reviews had passed and I emailed them for follow up. It lead to a string of emails and ultimately grant approval. Had I assumed this was a denial, I would have missed out on a grant. Many organizations are small and things happen. One particular grant started out smaller, but they received unexpected donations and it ended up doubling in value. So please, don't only focus on the "biggies", the small ones are just as important.

7. Gratitude
When you receive a grant, make sure you keep them updated on your progress. Some grants depend on your story to be able to raise funds for future grants. Let them know when your child is home, send them pictures and thank yous. This will help future families and keep the grants going. And once you are in a financial position to do so, pay it forward by sending a donation to them. Another adoptive family will be blessed by you paying it forward.


Please post any tips you may have in the comments, I am sure others will have wisdom to share.

Part 2 will talk about actual grant organizations....

Pictures

Yesterday morning I woke up to see pictures of my little girl. It does good to my heart to see that she is smiling and a little determined too. It will serve her well later on. Of course it brought more intense feeling of missing her, remembering how it feels to hold her and all the little sounds she makes. But I would rather miss her this intensely than not know how she is doing.

I especially love the last picture. I am not sure if Auntie Comfort will let me leave Ghana with Afua :) They have a beautiful bond and Comfort is such a blessing to us while we can't be with our daughter.