Vacation Pics

We have been back from our trip to Disney world for some time now. I have most of the blog posts ready to go, but I thought I'd share a few pictures from the trip.

We saw many of our favorite characters, Mulan was one we HAD to see.

And there's the collection of goofy ride pictures. Em knew exactly where they take the picture on space mountain, so we have some hilarious ones from that ride. THIS is why the Memory Maker was a great investment.

There were moments of contemplation and exhaustion. It was hot but we found some great ways to stay cool.

And this was the highlight for my youngest two.


It was a great trip, we drove lots to get there, we saw more than we thought we could and we made memories that will last us a lifetime. Stay tuned for more...

June 20, 2013

A year ago today, I woke up in Ghana after traveling for 24 hours and arriving late in the evening at my guest house. It was a day full of hope as I was being reunited with Afua. The plan was to meet with the Director of Social Welfare and request custody so I could take Afua to the hospital and begin to bond with her. Legally she had been our daughter for 6 months under Ghana law but as she was in a government facility they determined when I could take custody. 

Her head was freshly shaved, she smelled like Shea butter and she was much taller than when I last saw her 7 months earlier. They definitely made a better effort to clean her than the first time I met her. Her body was weak with some spasticity in her feet and elbows. She would sit up on my lap briefly and then wanted to lay down. She studied my face as to determine who I was and why she was allowed outside for a visit.

My request for custody was a heated meeting. I was firm but polite, I had a reasonable answer to every question but ultimately I was told she was better off at the orphanage until I could take her home. My heart sank as I thought about visiting her daily and having to leave her at the orphanage. Children do not belong in cribs, they belong in their mothers arms. 

I then checked in with our adoption team to see the progress made on her paperwork. Everything seemed to be moving a lot faster now that I was here so there was positive news about that. I was clear that I would not pay any bribes and it was understood by everyone helping us. While I wanted Afua home quickly, it would have to be done with clean hands. 

Preparations for our Disney Trip

This summer, we are taking a trip to Disney  World in Florida. Driving many hours, the heat, 5 children, the overstimulation and the $$$$$, it hardly seems like a relaxing vacation. But there are so many other reasons why we want this trip for our family. And we have found many ways to cut down cost (might be another blog post).

Our primary reason for choosing Disney is because of the way they handle children with disabilities. Afua's wheelchair is welcomed everywhere, there are so many things she can participate in and be part of the beauty of Disney. After her eye surgery, she can now see well and I can only imagine how wonderful fireworks will be to her.

We also know there is a window of time that Disney feels "real". Our three youngest children had things happen to them that took away from their childhood. If we can give them a week where they are just kids in a imagination rich place, then it's worth every penny. For my girls to dress in fancy dresses and my boys to battle Darth Vader, no other place will provide quite the same experience. 

It's a lot of planning, a lot of learning and at times overwhelming to plan a vacation at the Happiest Place on Earth. But we found a travel agent specializing in families who have a lived one with a disability. She walked us through obtaining a handicap accessible room, how to navigate the parks and locating all the facilities we will need to take care of any medical needs we may have.

I hope to write more as we experience Disney World through Afua's eyes. It will be fun!!!!

Walking With Dinosaurs

It's hard to put into words how excited my family is  to see Walking With Dinosaurs. The video clips we have seen are awesome but I can only imagine  how much more spectacular it will be in person.

The show depicts the dinosaurs with almost cinematic realism. WALKING

WITH DINOSAURS THE ARENA SPECTACULAR has scenes of the interactions between

dinosaurs, how carnivorous dinosaurs evolved to walk on two legs, and how the herbivores

fended off their more agile predators.

The Christian Science Monitor said, “When the dinosaurs start pouring out onto the stage,

if you don’t have to stifle the natural flight response of any living breathing being, then

it’s your pulse that needs checking.” Newsweek called the show, "that rare entertainment

beast that parents and kids can enjoy together."

Walking With Dinosaurs returns to Quicken Loans Arena July 9th-13th. 

Buy your tickets to the Cleveland Show HERE

Opening Night Tickets start at $25

  Disclosure: In exchange for my time and efforts in attending shows and reporting my opinion within this blog, as well as keeping you advised of the latest discount offers, this show has provided me with complimentary tickets and opportunities to attend private pre-Show events. Even though I receive these benefits, I always give an opinion that is 100% mine.

10 free ideas for a fun summer

This summer, we plan to visit a certain famous mouse in Florida, so the rest of our summer needs to include cheap or free fun. Preferably free.  I started bookmarking and pinning potential summer activities and hopefully these help you as you plan your summer too. Last summer I was in Ghana for over 5 weeks so I feel like I missed our usual activities. This summer, I have some catching up to do.

I start by printing blank calendar pages like this and as I find fun events, they are all marked in one place. The goal is not to do something every day, but to have ideas for those days that swimming isn't an option or we just want to break the routine a little.


1. Free Zoo and Museum days


Our Zoo is free every Monday and several museums are free on designated days. We usually visit our zoo from opening for 2-3 hours and pick an area to explore with detail. It makes our visit more relaxed, less walking for the kids and we want to return week after week.   Here is a tool to locate a Zoo nearby.

2. Swimming

Do you have a local beach, lake or community pool? We have free places within 30 min drive where we can enjoy a day of swimming and a picnic. We also buy a family membership to a local pool because it has a nice shallow end for the little ones and they offer swimming lessons. I once calculated how much the membership cost us per visit and it was 75 cents per trip (for 5 people swimming usually). We plan to get a season pass again this year and also visit local free swimming spots. This option isn't free but for 15 cents per person, it's worth mentioning.


3. Library/reading programs

Our library has a fun reading program and children can earn free stuff for reading books. We sign up in May and keep a record of why we read and for how long. While at the library, see what other programs they may have. We have attended magic shows, crafts and other in activities while checking out books. Bookstores such a Barnes and Noble have programs also, check out their websites each year for free programs. We write the events into our summer calendar and go especially on rainy days.

4. Concerts

Does your community offer free outdoor concerts in the summer time? We go to many concerts each summer, take a blanket and listen to music under the stars. Not only is it a fun family outing, our kids get out of their usual music rut. We pick anything from classical to jazz to African beats and pack a picnic dinner along. An since it's outdoors, kids can dance and clap along.

5. Movies

For rainy days, we keep a list of $1 movies handy (written into the calendar). These are usually played early in the morning and they are older movies, but since we don't go to movies that often, it feels like a special treat to my kids. We also look for outdoor movies in our community which are super fun and free. Sometimes an ice cream social is included which my kids look forward to.

6. Parades and Fireworks

Another fun summertime tradition is to attend parades and fireworks. These are around 4th of July of course, but many communities around here choose a different weekend so for a couple of weekends we can enjoy beautiful fireworks shows. Parades are super fun and my kids love seeing matching bands, fire trucks and of course they are hopeful for some free candy.


7. Playgrounds

This may be not be revolutionary but we do utilize various playgrounds for summertime fun. Pick a different playground, invite a friend or two to join you and it is a fun day for sure. Some parks have a splash pad as well which can help kids cool off while moms relax (hopefully) or join the playtime.

8. Geocaching

This is a new activity for our family. But one we will be doing this summer. I found many geocaches nearby from this website

9. Local sporting events

Do you have a minor league team within driving distance? Check out their kids club or family games for low cost or even free tickets. Last summer we scored tickets for our entire family for $12 to a local minor league baseball game. Kids were excited to watch the game, visit a kids bounce area and there were no parking fees, long walks from the parking lot or $8 hot dogs. It was great. Some even offer fireworks after the game, kids can run bases or meet the players.

10. Organize a neighborhood summer camp

The best moments of summer are often spontaneous and happen at the last minute. It could be as simple as bringing out the slip n slide and inviting a few friends to join. Or a few moms can organize a day of summer camp activities to change the routine of summer a bit. I find that inviting a few friends over changes the dynamics between siblings and we tent to have less squabbles.

Pinterest has tons of ideas on summer time backyard activities with easy to find supplies. We plan to add many of these ideas to our summer bucket list.

We are gearing up for a fun summer! 

Orphan Care

After our family's 6 trips to Ghana and 5+ weeks living in the midst of orphan care last summer, I have had many thoughts swirling through my brain . For 8 months I have struggled to put these thoughts into a post.  I am a Momma to 3 children  who lived in institutions and the effects of that life is evident every day. Sometimes it's subtle and sometimes very prominent. So I've been thinking how to approach orphan care so that is sensitive to children, makes a lasting impact and reverses the cycle of poverty. Here are some things I am currently processing...

Moms and their babes in Ghana

1. Orphan care = Caring for Orphans

Sounds simplified, but this is where most of us start, definitely where I started. We become aware of millions of children who are labeled "orphans" and we feel compelled to help. Before jumping on a plane or adopting a child, my biggest hope is that we would educate ourselves  about orphans, who they are and what they need. In fact, most orphans have parents, grandparents or aunts/uncles who love them but can't for a variety of reasons to care of them. So the proper term for orphans may indeed be "vulnerable children" and there is so much we can do to keep these children connected to their families. That's the ultimate goal of orphan care, that there would be no more orphans. Some simple things we can do from the comfort of our home: pray, sponsor a child (email me and I can connect you with many wonderful organizations), support people who are working with vulnerable families and educate others about the condition of children here in the USA and overseas.

Emmi stocking shelves at the Fern House, a maternity home in Ghana. Helping vulnerable moms is definitely "orphan care"

2. Orphan Care does NOT  = adoption

Adoption is one part of orphan care and I do believe in the restoration and healing power of a loving family. I have 5 amazing children, 3 of them joined our family through adoption and I have parented them through their grief and healing. But too often adoption is seen as the first, best and only choice. In Ghana, 80-90% of children living in orphanages have families, they are not orphans the way we imagine them to be. So if you were to visit an orphanage there, don't assume adoption is the best  choice for most of them. Maybe the children need school and food sponsorship to return to their families? Maybe their mother needs a micro loan to get back on her feet? Maybe the parents/village need education on special needs or medical sponsorship so a child can live with their family? That's orphan care that makes more sense for most kids. And then, there are those children that need a new family, the 10-20% who have no other option ( and worldwide, 95% of orphans are over the age of 5, part of a sibling group and/or have moderate to severe special needs). Adoption makes sense for them, but please let a qualified social worker decide that for the child. Let every other alternative be sought for that child before they are uprooted. It's a painful journey for the child as well as the family and we must be ready to some day explain to that child that we explored every other option before adopting them.

Emmi washing baby equipment

3. How to visit orphanages in a child centered way

Over the summer, the orphanage that Afua lived in for the past 2 years would get a steady stream of tourist visitors. They would bring donations and then many times they asked to see the children. Their cameras were around their necks and sometimes they were allowed access to the children. Pictures were taken, kids received treats and hugs were exchanged. I spoke with many of these "orphan tourists" and they readily admitted a stop at an orphanage was a quick part of their trip similar to a visit to the Elmina slave castle, the art market and other tourist destinations in Ghana. Other orphanages allow week long visitors, repeat visitors and pop in visits as they know this is vital for their operations. This can be done in a child centered way or it can also be done in a way that leaves children with continual broken hearts. My biggest advice is to approach a visit in a way that allow the caregivers to maintain their role while supporting them behind the scenes. What are the tasks that are always in the back burner due to taking care of the children? Do the dishes, sweep the floors, help with inventory, fix anything you know how to fix or find your unique way to be an asset, not a tourist. If that is your focus, I am sure your time will be spent wisely.I would sometimes do a pop visit to an orphanage to deliver a package from a child's adoptive family. I consider that an honor and an exception to the rule. Each time, it helped the child know their family was coming and brighten their day. But more often, it's more meaningful to have a long term supportive role that lifts up those who do the daily work long after my trip is done.

Emmi's hard work was rewarded with advice from a special auntie. 

4. Long Term View

Orphan care should not be a one time mission trip or one Sunday topic at church. It's a lifelong commitment to helping children who are vulnerable. Why should we care? Because one day these children are the adults of the world and we want this planet to be filled with well adjusted, attached adults. Statistics show that children from institutions are more likely to commit crimes, become victims of human trafficking or repeat the cycle of poverty and orphan-hood. And just so we don't kid ourselves, institutions exist here in the United States as well. We don't call them orphanages, they are now residential care facilities. As those teens age out, we want to be sure they can enter society in a well adjusted manner and that each child has a family they can go to for support, advice and love.

Orphan care is so much more than adoption. There are thousands of children in Ghana who are vulnerable and only under 200 children children are adopted to the US each year. Adoption alone will not solve this issue.  Let's all find our piece of the puzzle and become part of the solution. 

the great bike giveaway

Afua is a girl on the move! She loves to be in her wheelchair or adaptive stroller. Better yet, she loves to crawl and is learning to walk.

So when I heard of The Great Bike Giveaway and a chance to win a Rifton tricycle for her, I had to enter.

Adaptive bikes are expensive. As in the $ thousands. Most have supportive seats with postural features and harnesses. The feet have special straps. A parent can push the bike or the child can propel.

I can just see Afua enjoy a bike like this while her sibling ride their bikes and scooters.

Would you take a moment and vote for Afua in the Great Bike Giveaway?

We have a winner!

Winner of the Disney Live! Mickey's Music Festival tickets is....

Tori Ludwin

Thanks for the entries via facebook and email. I will post a review of the show on Sunday.


You can still purchase tickets HERE 

Use code MOM 4 to receive $4 off per ticket ( Not valid on premium seating. No double discounts.)


To see Disney Live! event schedule, visit their website Disney Live!

My final 6 days in Ghana

When I came home from Ghana last July, I thought that I would post my travel journal here. But as I began to do so, it was stressful to relive everything that happened. Visiting my daughter in an orphanage that was secretive and hostile, seeing corruption, experiencing government red tape and realizing how much I had changed in the process, I needed time.

There is a wonderful story that I want to share though, something that I can only describe as a miracle that happened over the last 6 days in Ghana. Anyone who has been to Ghana or another similar culture knows that things move slowly in government offices. Painfully slowly. An official may suffer from "head pains" or be tired and they require rest at home. Or you may be told to come back "tomorrow" and it ends up being another week before a document is ready. Or when describing a location they say it's "not too far" and you end up driving for several hours.  It's part of the culture and in general I love it, but not so much when trying to make progress in an adoption urgently. So with that in mind, the last 6 day in Ghana was full of miracles and full of God's favor. I hope this story encourages anyone who finds themselves waiting, in a tough spot or feeling like they can't see a wait out of a impossible situation. Because for us, these 6 days were full of miracles and the impossible became possible.

Day 1: Thursday

Eric and I made the painful decision that I would come home next week. Only flight out is on Tuesday due to Ramadan and it being July, the busiest travel month.  Airfare is so expensive and most flights have layovers in weirdest places. We don't have enough money for him to fly to Ghana as we had hoped so I will either come home alone or with Afua. Neither choice is what we really wanted but it's been 5 weeks and my family needs me home. Afua doesn't have a corrected passport yet. Off to the passport office to check on it once again.

~~~~~

Back from the passport office. No passport and the supervisor moved our file as far as she could. Maybe tomorrow it's ready. I got a message from a family who needs their daughter "little Z" escorted home. I explained our situation but didn't know if I could escort her home if I had Afua with me. We are still talking how to make this work as this little one has urgent medical needs and needs to come home. I really want to help them as I know the worry of a sick child across the Atlantic. Their visa is ready tomorrow. I wish Eric was here.

 one of our many visits over 5+ weeks

Day 2: Friday

Another frustrating day at the passport office. Our poa's assistant told us he was at the office but he was nowhere to be found when we arrived.  I called him and insisted to see him or I would find the file alone. I'm not usually this pushy, but days are running out and I need to make a daily appearance at the office so they know how urgently we need Afua home. She has lost weight daily, she has infections that are not treated and the seizures scare me. We went inside the passport office and I pleaded my case once again. They tried to work on it but because our passport was a re-do it required supervisor intervention every step of the way. Otherwise I could be accused of child trafficking and be arrested. The office closed and I had no passport once again. My flight is booked for Tuesday and time is running out. Starting to get ready to come home without Afua.

~~~

Eric calls and says he spoke with the family who needs an escort and they were prepared to pay for the escort's ticket. He is able to come to Ghana afterall and we get to escort little Z home! His only flight option is tonight so he worked 2 hours, went home to pack and 2 hours later is on his way to the airport. What????? I get to see my hubby after 5 weeks! And he will be here as we go home either with 2 girls or 1 girl. PTL!!!!!

 my key chain at the guest house...looked at this and believed I would be home soon

Day 3: Saturday

Passport office is closed. Went shopping for tomorrow's baby naming ceremony. There is excitement in the air. This could be a wonderful miracle in the making or yet another road block. Either way Eric will be here and we can get through it together. It's easier to be on the other side of a miracle and say "wow, look what God has done for us". It's another thing to be in the midst of it and wonder if you are really doing what you are supposed to do or if you end up looking like a fool for all these leaps of faith. I would prefer to have a cool story to tell :)

~~~

Eric's flight was canceled. Instead of arriving tonight he will be here Sunday night. Ugh. Come on!!!!

one of Esther's delicious dinners

Day 4: Sunday

Baby naming day. Patrick's baby was named Erica, after Eric. What an honor to see it and be present at the ceremony. We love this girl so much and want the best for her. After seeing so much sadness it's nice to be with a family that is happy and together. After the celebration we will go to the airport to get Eric. We have kept his arrival a surprise from our Ghana family so tomorrow should be great. The funniest part of the baby naming day was that I was introduced as the wife of the "obruni at the wedding". Eric was a chairman at Patrick and Esther's wedding and the only "obruni" (white person) so everyone remembered him. Now I am the wife of the obruni. LOL.

 baby naming day for Erica

Day 5: Monday

Eric is here!!!! Seriously I'm like a teenager with my first boyfriend. So good to see him and have him be my rock.  Tired of fighting this fight alone. We went to the passport office at 7 am and by 8:30 Afua's passport was printed! Miracle #1!!!!! We raced to the Embassy only to be turned away. They said to come back in the afternoon. We still need a visa in her passport and our flight leaves in 24 hours. They need 24 hours to print the visa on the passport. Cutting it close.

~~~~

Couple of hours spent getting lunch, shopping and waiting nervously, we were back at the Embassy. Spoke with our consular who did our visa interview. She apologized for being turned away, it was a mistake. Ugh. We now have 16 hours to get the visa, get custody of Afua and head to the airport. She promised our visa in 16 hours!!! Miracle #2!!!! Made arrangements to get little Z from her region to us. We will meet early tomorrow morning before going to the Embassy. It will give us a few hours in case her transportation is late. Miracle #3!!! Could we really be going home with BOTH girls????  Went to visit Afua at her orphanage. Daddy and daughter seeing each other after 5 months apart, it was precious.

their last goodbye...tomorrow it would be time to go home

~~~~

Went to surprise our Ghana family with Eric's arrival. It was a wonderful surprise and we were able to tell them about 3 miracles in one day!!! 

SURPRISE!!! Eric came after all.

Day 6: Tuesday

Today we have no wiggle room in the schedule. First, we will meet our POA who gives us custody of little Z, who we are escorting home. We will do it near the embassy and then take her with us to the embassy to pick up Afuas passport and visa. Then we have to drive to Afua's orphanage to finally get custody. They have not let me take her out of the orphanage so things have to go perfectly there too. Our POA spoke to them yesterday, but we have not filled out any papers yet. Then it's off to the airport and fly into our happily ever after. Can we really pull this off? 

9:00am 

We met with our POA and little "Z" and her foster mom. They were having breakfast near the Embassy. The foster mom was visibly upset and it was evident she has loved Z. She showed me how to give her seizure medication, how to fix her bottle and she gave me food and a bottle. Phase 1 went smoothly...almost. About 20 min after they left we realized we were not given Z's passport. We called them to come back and we were given a bag of documents for Z. Good thing we checked. Ok, phase 1 compete.

 Little Z and her foster family. She was loved by them.

Next we lined up at the Embassy. This time our name was on the list, we walked right in and to the window. Our consular was not there, but we received Afua's passport with her visa securely attached.We were in and out in 15 minutes. Phase 2 completed.

Our driver was picking up our Ghana family as they wanted to see Afua leave her orphanage forever. We sat under a tree near the Embassy, called Z's family to let them know we had custody of her. We got to know Z better and I realized how stiff her body was and she was having seizures.

Next we went to get Afua. We pulled up to the orphanage and told them we had her visa and would be leaving today. They asked if I had clothes for her. I did in my suitcase but asked that they would dress her one more time. After some grumbling one of the aunties brought her out and no one acknowledged that we were leaving . We had signed all papers and that seemed to be the only worry. We saw Afua's file. Her last two years there contained 3 sheets of paper. No medical records, no history, just three pages of administrative records. Phase 3 was complete and I cried as we left the orphanage gates behind us. Forever.

 no more orphanage life, Comfort held her as we exited the orphanage gates

We grabbed some pizza and we actually had time to spare. Miracle after miracle has occurred and I was overwhelmed. 5+ weeks in Ghana was coming to an end. Daily battle, pressure, worry, anxiety and fear was releasing and now it was time for goodbyes. Lucy and I cried as we looked at each other. No words were needed. We knew the experiences we had together and what she had meant to me and Afua. Lucy and Comfort visited Afua faithfully while we waited and they reported back as her health declined.

Lucy and Afua. Their bond is undeniable. 

Finally, it was time to change the girls, feed them and head to the airport. The next 24 hours would undoubtedly be exhausting but we would be together. Afua would be home and that would be worth all that we would endure. Eric and I gave each other a glance that held so much meaning: this is the moment we had been fighting for. 

24 hours later, we were home

This is a video of Afua leaving her orphanage. I think auntie Comfort was just as happy as we were for Afua  to start a new life in a family. (the video does not seem to show in all devices, sorry)