There is no whining in joy :)

After experiencing one adoption journey, my one regret was being so miserable at times. Sure, it's normal to miss my children and hope that they are safe and at home with us, but my attitude wasn't always the best. I wasn't fun to be around when I felt things were moving too slowly or my poorly managed expectations manifested in different ways. And in the year we knew about our children and worked actively on bringing them home, so much life happened. And I didn't always approach those events with the joy they deserved.

Once we learned about Afua, I knew that if she was to be ours and if we were to adopt her, I would approach this journey so differently. I would find joy in the journey even during the bumps and the tough parts. It was a challenge I set for myself and I hope this "exercise" would apply to other areas of my life.

All things considered, I have found so much joy as we have made our way to adopting Afua. While we are proactive about affording the adoption, I also know creating a stressful environment at home due to finances isn't helping anyone (btw, we are less than $800 away from being paid on our agency fees if anyone would feel led to help us to get there). I had a wonderful travel to Ghana with Emmi and even though we couldn't bring Afua home, so many wonderful things happened on that trip.

But can I just whine for a teeny moment? Tonight is one of those moments where I am starting to forget the little noises Afua makes and how she feels when I hold her. And the way she squints her eyes when she focuses on a persons face in order to see them. I was sure that all these things about her would be forever in my memory, but memories fade. And it hurts to forget. I pulled up videos of our trip and some memories resurfaced. I miss her dearly. Our next trip can't come soon enough.

Ok, I am done whining for now. I know so many wonderful things are happening every day and I have 4 children to experience them with.

From My Travel Journal: Travel Home

By the time this week was over, I missed my 3 little ones at home. Skype calls are wonderful but no substitute for hugs and kisses. According to Eric, everything had been going smoothly but he was ready for me to return too. We are a family that spends most of our evenings and weekends together so when we are on two continents, it just isn't the same.

Leaving this airport is never easy or uncomplicated. This is our family's 4th time and each time it has been different. There is a line to inspect luggage, then there is a line to weigh the luggage, then there is a line to check passports and then finally you can check in at the counter. Each step they give you various papers to hold and I am always confused what to give to each person.

Somehow we managed to get through the entire process and we had a couple of hours to spare. Emmi once again proved to be the best travel partner. She loves the ENTIRE process, hanging out at airports, browsing through shops, even jet lag. She takes it all in and her joy is contagious.

I have to be honest here and say that I had been holding back tears and emotions. It has been too much to process. I know I will analyze it all later, but for now I am glad for the peace in my heart.

We landed in Amsterdam (or as Joy says "hamster dance") early in the morning. I rushed to Starbucks and sipped on my latte while Emmi got McDonalds. It was something like 6am but they had quarter pounders and fries ready made. She was a happy girl! Then we got a slice of Dutch apple pie, yumm!!! As I was sitting, I thought "I have one daughter in Africa, I am sitting with one in Europe and I have 3 children in North America". How can a mothers heart be split between 3 continents? At that moment mine was and the piece at I left in Africa was the toughest one. Eric was taking great care of e little ones, Emmi was with me, but little "A" had no one.

All our flights were smooth and uneventful. Last one was a shorty at 45 minutes and finally we were home. I rushed into my husbands arms and finally felt like I could cry. He is my rock and I know I could just lean on him. I was home. And hopefully soon, little "A" would be home too.

Our Christmas

Our Christmas was full of wonder and excitement. Kofi and Joy experienced their first Christmas in America and even with trying to keep it simple, it was overwhelming at times.

 We don't make a huge deal out of Santa, but our 4 found their stockings filled, new sleds and one gift each waiting for them as they woke up.

Their gifts from us (which they knew about ahead of time) were something they WANT, something they NEED, something to WEAR and something to READ. This is something they needed: shoes, soccer cleats, and somehow Joy has a princess wand in her hand. It may very well be something she needed :)

Before long, the boys were playing a new DS game that Kofi wanted. Eric and I just watched and enjoyed the spirit of cooperation that was present in the house at the moment. 

After presents, all 4 wanted to go try out their sleds. We had the hill to ourselves and it was fun family time.

And I enjoyed a warm drink and time with my favorite people. It was wonderful

What a Year!

I am writing this as less than 2 hours remain in the year 2012. Last year this time, I was longing for my two children in Ghana. I wanted to see them, hold them and finally welcome them into our family.

2/14/2012 Joy and Kofi joined our silly family and we began a journey to healing, thriving and learning. All of us have changed and stretched our ability to love and care for one another. They have blessed us and we have all grown closer.

And later this year, I saw the face of my daughter. As much as I wasn't actively looking to adopt again, my heart remained open to the possibility. Now I am glad I didn't miss out on this little blessing.

I have had a year where strangers have become close friends and some close friends have become strangers. It's been hard to experience changes, but sometimes it's needed to grow.

This was a year of growth for our entire family, but the award for "most growth" (if there is such thing) goes to my first born. Not only did she have 2 new younger siblings overnight, she has openly welcomed another one alongside with us. And she has begged to be able to go to Ghana to visit her siblings homeland and meet her baby sister. And in meeting people, holding babies and listening and learning, she has completely amazed me.
Out of 30-something years of my life, I can say 2012 has changed me the most, stretched me the most and blessed me the most. Can't wait to experience all that 2013 has in store. A new daughter and hopefully more stamps in my passport.

Thoughts on Special Needs adoption

Often when I describe our daughter, I don't mention any of her diagnoses or disabilities.  She is so much more than her CP or any other label that has been assigned to her. I think many of her delays are a result of orphanage environment, prior neglect and it will be wonderful to see how she progresses in our family. But I am acutely aware that her special needs are a big part of why she ended in an orphanage and why she waited so long for a family. And why no one in her extended family was able to care for her.

Adopting our daughter doesn't make us special. In working with many children with her diagnosis, I know these children to be funny, joyful, determined, smart and full of life! I know the challenges that are ahead of us, but I also know the beauty that exists in the midst of that. There is no doubt that we will be the blessed ones for having her join our family.

I may write about this in detail some day, but while we were visiting Afua, a taxi driver pulled up next to us and began to make small talk. I could tell he wanted to ask me something and once we got the pleasantries out of the way, he finally said it: "Why you pay for her? She doesn't talk or walk. Pay for a healthy one". It took all the grace I could extend to tell him how she is perfect to us, just as she is, just as she was created. We would give her every opportunity to improve in America, but if nothing worked, if there was no progress, we would love her. Because she is worth it. I held back tears because at that moment I realized how my little one was viewed by some in her own country. And how us foreign adoptive parents have probably have made it known that we will only adopt the healthy ones, the little ones. Because we are paying. Wow.

I know that Afua is a perfect addition to our family.a perfect daughter, sister, cousin, niece and granddaughter. I also know it doesn't make sense to people why we adopt any child, let alone a child who is going to need medical care and therapies. It doesn't make sense to people in her country and it doesn't make sense to some people here. But what they fail to see is that she is not her labels and she is not her past experiences. And in failing to see that, they fail to see the blessing that she is to us.

Linking up with Love that Max

Fundraising Update

I haven't taken the time to mention some great news. Last month, right before our trip, I received a wonderful phone call. We received a generous grant! It was the best news possible as I knew we would have a payment due to our agency very soon. It also eased the burden on fundraising as we finished the auction in October and had no big fundraisers planned due to our trip.

As of today, we still need to send $2500 to our agency for fees. We also continue to send a monthly foster care fee which is used for Afuas needs at her orphanage. I am amazed that we are so close to being fully funded! Of course we will have 2 more trips to West Africa (including Afuas one way ticket!!!) but those needs are not as urgent as the agency fees.

If you are considering making tax deductible donations before the end of the year, would you keep us in mind? We can accept donations of all amounts through Reeces Rainbow, a non-profit organization that advocates for orphans with special needs. You can leave your name so we can thank you, or anonymously, if that is your preferenc. The button on the right side column on this blog will take you there. We receive 100% of all donations.  Once our account states $4000 we are fully funded on agency fees.

I am so grateful for all the encouraging words, all prayers, all donations to take on our trip and all financial gifts. We have everything we need to provide for Afua once she joins our family, but getting her here on such short time frame is a challenge. It's humbling to ask for help or participation on fundraisers, but so many have done so gladly and went above and beyond in generosity. All for our girl who is so loved already.